What Did You Expect??

 

 

 

 

What are Unrealistic Expectations People Have of Marriage?

 

 

 



Movies, books, celebrity couples, and messages in songs can lead us down a path of expecting things from marriage and/or our partner that are not realistic.

The film about a content couple who has financial struggles and lives a simple but disciplined life , would probably not reach the top box office hits of the season!

The book about the long days of being at work, away from your loved one, or the long days of being home raising kids, while your loved one is at work, mostly likely wouldn't make the Best Seller's list!

I look back at some photos where my husband and I look exhausted and not all too happy with each other and I realize that once we identified the unrealistic expectations we had of each other, things improved greatly.  In our early days , we expected marriage or each other to fulfil us, to make us happy, to help us, build us up, to provide continued emotional, sexual, relational satisfaction.

When this was not happening, we wondered what was wrong. More often than not , we were certain it was because the "other person" ( which was each of us to each other!) was not doing what they were supposed to do for us.

I don't really know when or how it happened, but as we learned about marriage, as we experienced it and as we learned that scripture tells us to think about others more than ourselves, we changed our expectations!!

No longer did we expect each other to fulfil our deepest soul needs. Only God can do that.
No longer did we expect the other one to listen if they were tired. Maybe we would schedule a time to talk the next day, or call a friend. 
No longer did we expect our sex life to be great all the time. Instead we realized that it was only as good as the rest of our relationship most of the time.
And instead of blaming each other, we took responsibility of our own lives and instead began looking at ways to serve and love the other person, no matter what they did or didn't do for us.

Ask the question above and talk about what "other" people expect of marriage that is not reasonable. It may open your eyes to your own relationship and help change perspectives.

You can expect it to give you something to think about!!!